Books on dating and self esteem

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It should help you plan a way forward that’s more positive than the negative, defeatist, way that you approach things now.You’re not going to be cured, but you can overcome some of the difficulties that your insecurities give you and end up in a better place.

But a key element in all this is that you’re not going to be cured. One of the reasons for that is that it’s about triggering: your insecurities are based on you being triggered at certain key moments, normally moments that involve fear, and that triggering is inevitable. What I say in my book, is that first of all you need to understand your insecurities and why you have them. You cannot develop the personality traits of somebody that is a secure person.

That triggering is going to happen, it’s set in your brain.

He calls them “neural hijackings” — that’s the key phrase.

Others will fit into your own script – perhaps in my example acting as my annoyed sister or disappointed father.

I will always play the annoying little brother role. Well, the way you get out of it is to develop new scripts, which is also Oliver James’s message.

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